


Blind Date

by otherrealmwriter



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26307766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otherrealmwriter/pseuds/otherrealmwriter
Summary: After their quiet siblings who hardly get out stay over at their houses a few days, Alfred and Ivan get the bright idea to set their siblings up on a blind date to get out of their hair for a few hours. CanUkr, mentions of RusAme Human names used.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Canada/Ukraine (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Blind Date

I don't own Hetalia okay? Boredom and it being too humid to go outside without getting instant drowning heatstroke where I live (Which sucks because I got a tan to work on) has had a lot of ideas come to mind. So in that came this idea. It's mainly for teh lulz so keep that in mind. But I am sure you don't want to hear my dissertation on heat and humidity so enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

Alfred sighed and looked over at his brother. He had been staying over for a few days and it had gotten pretty boring after awhile. The only time it had gotten anywhere close to interesting was when Matt had suggested they play a 1 on 1 game of hockey. "If you beat Russia, then why can't you take lil' ol' me on?" He taunted Alfred into accepting the challenge, thinking that it would be like any other time. And he was mistaken. Very mistaken. That unleashed a side of his brother he had never seen before. So they came home and patching his wounds and lacerations, Matt offered to get coffee and a donut to make up for hurting him so badly.

"You got this from Tim Horton's?" Alfred asked looking at the cup.

"Is there a problem?" Matt asked, still in his hockey jersey and rushed with adrenaline from the game.

"No...no...not a problem at all!" Alfred said as he adjusted the ice pack on his bruises and laid back on the couch.

"Good. I think I am going to check out that new Wayne Gretzky documentary that's on." Matt said as he headed to the room he was saying in. "You look like you need some time to recuperate."

"You suck dude." Alfred said sticking his tongue at his brother. Note to self, do not fall for his taunting when it comes to hockey ever again. As Alfred began to channel surf to see if there was anything on other than hockey documentaries, his phone rang. "Hello?" He sighed.

"Privet Fredka." Ivan said. "You sound terrible."

"Oh my brother came over for the week and challenged me to a hockey match." Alfred said as he winced in pain to sit in a more comfortable position.

"You underestimated him again didn't you poor little Fredka." Ivan laughed.

"Oh shut up! Like you could do better." Alfred said sipping the coffee Matthew had given him. "He always forgets to put the sugar in."

"Sorry?" Ivan asked.

"Mmmmmphhs..." Alfred bit down on a donut. "Maple. And people say I have an obsession with hamburgers..."

"Well you do." Ivan said.

"Well they never had some of my brother's stuff. Ever hear of poutine?" Alfred asked.

"Cannot say I have." Ivan said as Alfred loudly sipped his coffee.

"Well it's french fries-"

"I thought you'd like that."

"I'm not done Vanya. It gets worse. Cheese curds and gravy." Alfred made a noise like he was about to throw up. "Most people don't even notice Mattie and they don't know him like I do on things like that."

"Oh you can be a sore loser some times. Sorry to hear you are entertaining. I can sympathize." Ivan said.

"Your sisters over?" Alfred asked as he sighed at the futility of trying to find something on TV.

"Just Katyusha. Her apartment's being fumigated. So she had to stay away for a few days and since she couldn't afford a hotel room for the weekend and her landlord is very cheap, she's staying with me. I love my sister Fredka, just sometimes she can be very quiet and embarrassing." Ivan sighed.

Alfred sat up quickly as an idea hit him. "Owwwwwww! Matt I will get you back!"

"Sorry?" Ivan asked confused.

"Nah, I sat up too fast and I bruised my lower back in that game today. But I got an idea since we both have siblings who are quietly annoying us unintentionally." Alfred said.

"I'm listening." Ivan said curiously.

"From what you said about Katyusha she hardly ever gets out of the house right?"

"Da." Ivan said. "I doubt she'd be over if not for the fumigation. Turns out one of her neighbors never cleaned his kitchen so it became full of cockroaches and it spread over the whole building."

"Well this is the first time Matt's had any fun in a long time and I'd like for him to have some that doesn't involve shoving me into the side of an ice rink." With this Ivan laughed as Alfred rolled his eyes. "You know that new pancake house that opened up on the other side of town?"

"Da? Are you suggesting that we put Katyusha and Matthew on how you say a blind date?" Ivan asked.

"Well duh I am." Alfred said. "Poor guy hardly ever meets anyone anyway. I'll cover the costs but they can get a nice night out, meet new people and we can hang out if you like."

Ivan looked over at the sitting room where his sister was reading a book on gardening in small spaces again. She did like farming and agriculture a lot but living in a small apartment that has 3 units, one of which the landlord lives in to save money and won't do a thing about the slob in the other unit meant you couldn't have bountiful grain harvests. She didn't have a lot of money and while she did have enough to eat sometimes, there were other times he had to help her pay her bills so the gas or the power wouldn't get shut off. She always made sure the rent was paid, but the stingy landlord Govert did charge more than the small place was worth in Ivan's eyes I will have to speak with him about charging a fair rental price especially if he lets that Feliks get away with causing such an infestation. If I find out he increases rent on everyone instead of charging the guilty party, he will pay. "Sounds like plan. Maybe if this goes well Katyusha won't need to live in her little hovel." Ivan growled.

"Dude, it's a little early to be talking like that. They don't even know our plans yet." Alfred said. "This isn't the medieval era where we could just marry off our siblings for a power play or something like that."

"Nyet." Ivan sighed. "I'll drop her off at 8 then?"

"Sounds good." Alfred said as he got up and looked at his brother with a smirk. "Good news bro."

"What?" Matt sighed.

"I'm not going to throw a baseball in between your legs for these hockey injuries, but I got you a date." Alfred said as he dragged his brother to the guest room where he was staying. "Let's look through your clothes and see if you have anything cool."

"Who with? What's going on?" Matt asked confused.

"Just got off the phone and Ivan has someone meeting you at the new pancake house at 8." Alfred said. "Now get dressed and look cool. If you need to borrow something of mine, just say so. Is that blood on your hockey jersey?"

"Yes." Matt smiled. "Yours."

"You're a totally different person when you play hockey. It's scary." Alfred said. "And I know Ivan well. I guess it's true what they say about the quiet ones. Just make yourself look good."

That night, after finally settling on a simple button up shirt and jeans Alfred drove to where Matthew was to meet his date. "I'll let you borrow my car if you find this goes better than you think or need a quick escape."

"Just who am I meeting here and how will you get home?" Matt asked.

"I got a ride for the night, don't worry about me bro." Alfred said as he got out of the car and watched Matt head inside. He stood in the lobby, looking around. It was this when the hostess came up to him.

"Excuse me sir, are you a Matthew Williams?" She asked.

"Yes." Matt said back.

"Well your guest is here already and we said we'd take you to her when you arrived." The hostess said as she led him to where Katyusha as sitting with a nervous smile on her face. Her short blonde hair was pulled back with a headband and she was wearing a simple light blue polo shirt and a khaki tan skirt with boots. Well, at least Al and Ivan didn't set me up on a joke. Or at least she doesn't look like a joke. I do have to be careful though...I don't want her to think I am just staring at her chest. Matt thought as he sat down across from Katyusha who looked away with a blush. "Well let's get this evening started. Anything to drink?"

"A glass of milk is fine." Matt said

"Tea please..." Katyusha said.

"Okay. I'll be back in a few minutes. Both looked around the restaurant, trying to think of something to say to the other that didn't seem like a boring cliche or make the other upset.

Katyusha broke the silence. "Well, Vanya didn't tell me who I would be meeting here."

"Well Al didn't either. I was expecting he'd pull a joke on me. Like there would be Gilbert here drunk" Matt said. "I'm Matthew Williams, Al's brother."

"I know who you are talking about." Katyusha said. "malenʹkyy brat has often had to pick him up from Denny's at 3 am because his own brother told him to walk home. I'm Katyusha Braginsky."

"Ummmm I don't speak too much..." Matt blushed

"Ukrainian?" Katyusha said with a smile. " Well malenʹkyy brat means little brother."

"Oh so Ivan is younger than you." Matt said as Katyusha nodded.

"But he's so protective of me." She said. "I feel I should protect him at times. I am older."

"Well I'm the same age as Alfred and he constantly pulls jokes on me, which had me nervous of today." Matt said as the waitress brought them their drinks.

"Here's our menu. I'll be back in a few minutes to see what you would like." She said as she headed away to another table.

"Oh dear. I don't have much money..." Katyusha said looking over the menu.

"This one is on me." Matt said. "My brother gave me his card to cover this, saying I needed to be a man and since he was the one who set me up, he'd cover this. I still think he's got something planned. He's a sore loser."

"Fredka, a sore loser?" Katyusha said looking relieved.

"I beat him in hockey today, so that's why I was expecting a trick. And when the place was this one, I was worried. He would never let me off so easy." Matt said. "I guess I'll just run up his credit card on a sweet girl like you."

"You think I'm sweet?" Katyusha blushed.

"Yes. So pick whatever you like." Matt said.

"Dyakuyu tobi" She smiled back. "Pancakes at 8 in the evening. But I guess for a date like this, you wouldn't want to risk it by going somewhere real fancy."

"Well pancakes are some of my favorite. I would normally drink as much coffee as my brother does but being this late, I don't take that well." Matt said. "And I don't think soda and breakfast style foods go well together."

"Some of these Belgium waffles look pretty good." Katyusha said.

"Don't worry about price like I said. After this we can go somewhere else. Al lent him his car." Matt smiled.

"I think I will take you up on that." Katyusha said as they ordered and discussed what they did, Matt worked as a caretaker of the bears in the zoo a few towns over and Katyusha was a clerk at the local greengrocer. It didn't pay well but she was happy with it and was looking to try to find a way to grow some of her own vegetables, but living in an apartment meant she could only grow a few things in pots. They got along well as they ate talking about gardening, bears, obnoxious brothers and maple leaves.

"When I was younger, people mistook me for my brother so often I stuck a maple leaf sticker on my head to let people know we were different." Matt laughed.

"That had to have looked silly." Katyusha said. "But this place had good food. I will have to come again sometime when I can save up enough."

"I can take you if you'd like." Matt said, not realizing what he had said until it came out of his mouth. "I mean I know I live a few towns over but it isn't that much of a drive. You'd have to let me know first so we can plan it and I can make sure Kumajiro at the zoo has enough so the weekend staff can take care of him..."

"Kumajiro?" Katyusha asked.

"The alpha polar bear at the zoo I work at. He only responds well to me." Matt said.

"Well now. I guess dealing with that brute of a brother taught you how to tame the largest bears." Katyusha said.

"I guess. I'll take care of the check and we can go see a movie if you'd like. That new Frozen movie looks good." Matt said as he got up. Great you, a grown man asked a grown woman to a Disney movie on a first date. Frozen for a girl like her. Idiot. He thought as he paid when Katyusha came up to him and smiled.

"I have actually wanted to see that one. It looked interesting." She said.

From the pancake house, they had gone to the movie theater where he bought Katyusha a soda and some popcorn to share and they watched the movie, occasionally grabbing each other's hand as they reached for the buttery snack. They then drove to the park and just watched the stars and moon as the night waned on. It was nothing loud or extravagant, but Katyusha seemed to like it, and that was all that mattered to Matt. Sure, they may have been brought together by their siblings, but she was really sweet and he was starting to feel a connection to her. Matt looked at his watch and sighed. "It's almost midnight. I'll take you home."

"Who am I, Cinderella?" Katyusha laughed.

"Well you may not be under a fairy godmother's spell but I don't feel like getting on the wrong side of your brother." Matt said.

"I see what you mean. Malenʹkyy brat can act more like an overbearing parent than a brother at times." Katyusha sighed.

"He cares about you." Matt said as they headed to the car and he started to drive back to Ivan's house. "There's many guys out there that would see you as another girl to take to bed and hurt you. Well, I don't think you deserve that. You're really nice." He said, feeling his face grow red, thinking that Katyusha would be able to see his embarrassment in the dark even.

"That's one of the sweetest things I have ever heard." Katyusha said as they pulled into the driveway.

"I'll take you inside." Matt said. "Seems your brother is already in bed, I can't see any lights on. I hope he doesn't hear the door open."

"If he's out, he will be in a deep sleep." Katyusha smiled. "I'll make you a cup of tea before you have to leave." She said as she opened the door quietly and turned on the smallest lamp that provided enough light to see. "Oh malenʹkyy brat will really be out of it. He left his vodka down here and there's two shot glasses, he must really have wanted to drink tonight...I wouldn't have judged him for that. But no never mind, I met you because of that." She said as she headed to the kitchen to make tea. Matt sat on the couch, careful not to move anything of Ivan's when he saw something familiar in the distance.

"Is that Al's lucky bomber jacket?" He asked himself, squinting at the vintage relic with a 50 on the back.

"I have tea." Katyusha said, distracting Matt from the idea that his brother forgot his favorite jacket and turned to her. He took a sip and looked over with a smile at her when she moved in and kissed him on the lips. "I had a wonderful night."

"I did too." Matt said as he pulled her closer, placing their tea down carefully around her brother's mess and kissed her deeply.

"I really like you." Katyusha smiled. "You're not like any of the others."

"You're a sweet girl yourself. And you actually acknowledge me." Matt said.

"You deserve it. Good men are hard to find." Katyusha smiled.

Matthew woke up early, as the first rays of sunshine came through the window of Katyusha's room. Oh my god. I'm so dead. He thought, remembering just why he woke up in her bed as to his own. Ivan is going to kill me. I slept with his sister. In his own house even. Matt sighed. He could very easily just get dressed and go home to his brother who would either make fun of his walk of shame home or yell at him for bringing his favorite muscle car home so late. I'm dead either way. I guess I could be something of a gentleman. I mean if her brother did drink as much as he did last night, then he'll be out of it until well past noon... He got up, dressed quietly and headed to the kitchen to make Katyusha his specialty, maple bacon pancakes, before he headed over to his brother's. Al killing me for being late with his car will probably be less deadly than a pissed off Ivan. Besides, she's too good a girl to just run off after something like that. Matt thought as he looked in Ivan's fridge for some syrup. "Oh come on, you just have that cheap stuff that is barely maple flavored? That's what the restaurant had too. Uggggghhhh!" He moaned as he begrudgingly set it out. "I will have to make Katyusha some proper ones with proper syrup under more honorable circumstances."

Turning back to the frying pan, he had steps that were defiantly not Katyusha's. Die like a man Williams, die like a man. You didn't force yourself on her and you could have easily left her alone after. "Fredka, you never get up this early." A gruff Russian voice said in an almost flirtatious way. "Especially after a night like last night."

"I'm not Alfred." Matthew said, almost reflexively at this point in his life of being mistaken for his brother.

"WHAT?" Ivan asked, face growing red.

"Yeah I ummm... we got in late because the..." Matt said, but instead of red from anger, it seemed like Ivan was red from embarrassment. He was in just a pair of hastily put on boxers. Thank god I wore the stuff I did last night. I don't want him to draw any unsavory conclusions. I may be able to just say I slept on the couch because it was late last night. "You know Al left his favorite jacket over here... guess you guys did some drinking last night...hee hee..."

"Yeah...drinking... that's all we did..." Ivan said, giving an air that hinted that it was a partial truth. "I'll let Fredka know about the jacket."

"Did Al get home okay?" Matt asked.

"Nyet. He stayed here." Ivan said, quickly adding, "too drunk to drive."

"I had his car though." Matt said.

"I was too drunk to drive. We both were." Ivan corrected still sounding like he was covering something up. Both men looked at each other with embarrassment. It was almost written on each other's face what they had actually done with the other's sibling. "Be honest with me." Ivan sighed taking a drink of water before he poured himself a cup of coffee that Matt had brewed. "You use protection? She agree to it?"

"Yes on both accounts." Matt replied quickly.

"Fine. Same with your brother." Ivan said and Matt shuddered at the idea. His brother's sex life was the last thing he needed to know. "Now let us forget this conversation ever took place and if you break her heart, I break you."

"Deal." Matt said as he took the tray into Katyusha's room and kissed her on the forehead. "Breakfast in bed sweetie."

"You're too much prynts charivnyy" She said as she sat up in the bed.

"Well you deserve it chérie" Matt said.

"You speak French?" Katyusha laughed.

"Yeah." Matt blushed. "Eat up before it gets cold."

"Oh, I want to ask you, did Ivan leave a television on last night?" Katyusha asked.

"Not that I know of, why do you ask?" Matt said sipping his coffee.

"I could have sworn I heard someone yell 'perestroika' a few times in a voice that kind of sounded like your brother's." Katyusha said. "I could have been tired and hearing things."

Matt froze. He knew something raunchy had gone on between Ivan and his brother, but how much, he didn't know, nor did he want to know. "I didn't see any TVs left on. You may have just been sleepy chérie"

"Makes sense." Katyusha said. "I will want to see you again." She said.

"Me too." Matt said as he kissed her on the forehead. "Away from our brothers hopefully."

"Yes indeed." She sighed.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. For a oneshot, this turned out longer than I thought it would, but hey you got to build up to the joke. Any Ukrainian was run though Google Translate so if the syntax is a little off, I am sorry. I don't have much else to say here so remember to read (well you just did) and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.


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